Another example for the Euthyphro file: an envelope of puffery from Discover magazine includes a bookmark with fifteen little-known facts. Here are two of them:
8. No American has died of old age since 1951.
9. That was the year the government eliminated old age as a category on death certificates
Truly Thou art great, O State!
But … why not eliminate all causes of death while Thou’rt at it?
I once expounded on the concept that the state should ban all forms of dying- “While you’re at it, can you just ban all death, you know, like declare a moratorium on all forms of dying, which we all know does serious economic harm, tears families apart in bitter inheritance lawsuits, and is the greatest cause of involuntary widowhood. This will also greatly help raise the general living standards because people will no longer invest in life or health insurance and would be able to put that money to better, higher uses.”
— the pen is mightier than the reality