Tag Archives | Thank You Please May I Have Another

You Must Be This Tall to Overthrow the Government

officially approved anarchist

“Do you or your organization directly or indirectly advocate, advise, teach or practice the duty or necessity of controlling, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, the state of South Carolina or any political division thereof?”

If so, fill out a “Subversive Agent Form,” listing your organisation’s core beliefs and the names of all your members, and send it along with $5 to the South Carolina secretary of state.

I am not making this up. I can’t tell whether this form is genuine, but the enabling legislation certainly is. (CHT Kevin Carson.)


Pat Robertson on, Like, Haiti

Before Ken MacLeod pointed to this video, about the Haitian response to Robertson’s garbage, I’d never actually heard the exact words of Robertson’s remark:

 
Notice, then, that one of Robertson’s claims is that the Haitians (who revolted in the 1790s) had been under the rule of Napoleon III (who came to power in 1851).

Well, Robertson does say “Napoleon III or whatever,” so I guess his statement is saved by its second disjunct.


The Storm Fiend Did Loudly Bray

Tay Bridge collapseOn a stormy winter night in 1879, the bridge over the Firth of Tay collapsed while a passenger train was crossing it (thus prompting the cancellation of the builder’s contract to complete a similar bridge over the Firth of Forth).

Adding insult to injury, the Scottish poet William McGonagall quickly commemorated the disaster with a remarkably bad poem.

Opinions differ as to whether McGonagall’s badness was deliberate and conscious (in the manner of William Shatner’s song stylings, perhaps) or merely the product of incompetence.

Anyway, read the poem if you dare.


The Weakest Link

fearsome battle droidsIn the Star Wars movies, an entire enormous imperial military mechanism can always be destroyed or brought to a standstill simply by targeting some relatively small but apparently crucial component – a shield generator, a droid control ship, an exhaust vent on the Death Star.

I’d like to think this was George Lucas’s deliberate satire on the rigidity and inefficiency of centralised bureaucratic systems – though I have a sneaking fear that it may just have been lazy storytelling instead.

In any case, Darian Worden points us to yet another real-world example:

On Sunday, January 3, thousands of airline travelers were delayed after an unknown person walked the wrong way through an exit at Newark Liberty International Airport. Continental Airlines, the largest user of the affected terminal, was still behind schedule on Monday morning. … Most Americans depend daily on the functioning of a multitude of networks, from transportation to electricity. The Newark shutdown shows that something as minor as passing the wrong way through a door (from the “public” area to the “sterile” area) can cause a cascade of failures as flights are delayed, connecting flights are missed, and important business and personal meetings are disrupted.

I remember a similar incident at the Atlanta airport four years ago as I was waiting for my flight to Prague; someone went up the down-only stairway to retrieve something they’d left behind, and the folks in charge responded by shutting down most of the airport – though thankfully not the international terminal, so I didn’t miss my flight. (That incident probably did play a role, however, in our leaving late and my nearly missing my connection in Zurich; I’ve spent a total of fifteen minutes in Switzerland, and all of it running.)

Remember how one Christmas light burning out always made the entire string go dark? Notice how they don’t make ’em like that any more?

So why do governments design systems that can be jammed so easily? Well, because they’re a monopoly, so they can externalise the costs of this crap onto everybody else. Just try doing the same thing under free competition.


Hail Caesar!

Check out this merry message from our friends at the Census Bureau:

Census ad

And be sure to read Tom Knapp’s comments, as well as the Bible’s animadversions on King David’s earlier census.

I’m tempted to add a shiny poster of Jesus being crucified, with the text: “This is how Jesus died. Jesus cooperated with the Roman Empire’s criminal justice system. Don’t be afraid.”


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