Tag Archives | Lapsus Linguae

Dictionaries Are For Lesser Mortals

From George Stephanopoulos’s exchange with Obama. (CHT Tom Knapp.)

STEPHANOPOULOS: Probably the most definitive promise you made in the campaign is that no one in the middle class would get a tax increase on your watch. … Under this mandate, the government is forcing people to spend money, fining you if you don’t. How is that not a tax? …

OBAMA: No. That’s not true, George. … For us to say that you’ve got to take a responsibility to get health insurance is absolutely not a tax increase. … [R]ight now everybody in America, just about, has to get auto insurance. Nobody considers that a tax increase. People say to themselves, that is a fair way to make sure that if you hit my car, that I’m not covering all the costs.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But it may be fair, it may be good public policy …

OBAMA: No, but – but, George, you – you can’t just make up that language and decide that that’s called a tax increase. …

STEPHANOPOULOS: I don’t think I’m making it up. Merriam Webster’s Dictionary: “Tax — a charge, usually of money, imposed by authority on persons or property for public purposes.”

OBAMA: George, the fact that you looked up Merriam’s Dictionary, the definition of tax increase, indicates to me that you’re stretching a little bit right now. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gone to the dictionary to check on the definition ….

STEPHANOPOULOS: I wanted to check for myself. But your critics say it is a tax increase.

OBAMA: My critics say everything is a tax increase. My critics say that I’m taking over every sector of the economy. You know that. Look, we can have a legitimate debate about whether or not we’re going to have an individual mandate or not, but…

STEPHANOPOULOS: But you reject that it’s a tax increase?

OBAMA: I absolutely reject that notion.

Because, y’know, when the President uses a word, it means whatever he wants it to mean. And if someone points out that his usage violates the accepted dictionary definition, they’re the one doing the “stretching.”


Big Clocks Are Never Wrong

On my way to work this morning, I noticed that according to the time-and-temperature display at Toomer’s corner, the temperature in Auburn was 143°. But it didn’t feel that hot (or that cold, if it was in Kelvin).


Crying in the Bewilderness

Wonka's flying elevator

I just rode the elevator with a confused man.

So we’re on the 3rd floor of Haley Center, in front of the elevators. I push the “up” call button and he pushes the “down.” An elevator arrives; it indicates it’s going up. We both get on. I push the button for the 6th floor; he says, “oh, is this going up? well, then I’ll ride up and then go back and get one that’s going down.”

As I exit at the 6th floor, he pushes a button – for the 3rd floor.

(And he wasn’t even a philosopher!)


Captain Planet

Everyone’s pointing out that this ad – created to be pitched to, but never approved by, the World Wildlife Fund – is tasteless and offensive. (Click the pic below to enlarge it, or click here to seriously supersize it.)

Multiple planes converging on Manhattan

Well, duh. But what I’ve yet to see anyone point out is how counterproductive the ad’s caption is:

THE TSUNAMI KILLED 100 TIMES MORE PEOPLE THAN 9/11.
The planet is brutally powerful. Respect it. Preserve it. www.wwf.org

(a.k.a. “Kneel before Zod!”) When you hear that “the planet” has killed 100 times more people than 9/11, is your natural response to respect and preserve it, let alone to donate money to its support? I’d think the natural response would be “I guess the planet is our enemy! We’d better declare war upon it!”


Hiking With Zeno

Or maybe Kafka. Here’s the Weather Channel’s description of this hiking path in Yellowstone:

Length: 15.3 Feet
Difficulty: Moderate
Beginning Elevation: 6,400 Feet (Approximately)
Elevation Gain: Minimal
USGS Map(s): Bechler Falls and Cave Falls

Overview:
This loop trail is a great overnighter or long Day trip.

Yes, I can see how the elevation gain would be minimal. But if it takes a whole day to traverse a 15.3 foot long path of moderate difficulty, I wonder what severe difficulty would look like ….


Why You Should Stop Worrying and Love Government-Run Health Care

Our President Incarnate explains:

The Postman Always Rings TwicePeople say, well, how can a private company compete against the government? And my answer is that if the private insurance companies are providing a good bargain, and if the public option has to be self-sustaining – meaning taxpayers aren’t subsidizing it, but it has to run on charging premiums and providing good services and a good network of doctors, just like any other private insurer would do – then I think private insurers should be able to compete. They do it all the time. I mean, if you think about it, UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? No, they are. It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.

Well then, that should reassure the skeptics.


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